Eoin, Ken and Ciaran mark the weekend's dives out of 10. Sometimes you need to give the referee a little bit of help.
David Moyes has been dubbed "the energy vampire" by an unnamed former Sunderland player. What is an energy vampire? How can you guard your personal energy against one? And how did such an inane metaphor about human relationships ever gain popular currency?
John Brewin was at Middlesbrough to see Manchester City stagger towards the Champions League qualification line with a 2-2 draw.
And Jack Pitt-Brooke saw Tottenham dominate Arsenal in the most one-sided North London derby in many years.
Plus thereâ€™s Jesus Navasâ€™ stats, second best Spurs, and Joseâ€™s finger of blame.
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