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Im Not Ready

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with @nevermending


i turned 19 three months back
and i still can't fathom how to act
'cause this adult shit's kinda whack
i'd rather lay inside and read
and treat my life like a weekend

and all my friends will slowly
move away and change
and i'll be left here feeling strange
with all my comrades out of range
for me to reach

it seems so odd to have to
redesign yourself
'cause you're so much of someone else
that they feel like it's unhealthy

but i guess it's part of life
to surrender what you like
in favor of the things you have to do
and there's so much i have to do
these days

these days

i'm turning 18 in a month
going off to art school is coming up
and i'm scared for what's going to happen

i'm going through a breakup
and i only cope with things i shouldn't
i get myself into trouble too much

all my friends are anarchists
and i don't know what i think
things are too complicated
and the world is full of shit

my inner pessimist is out
full of anxiety and doubt

i'm not ready for what's next

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