Watton Man Asks Too Many Questions
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By Danielle Hancock

This is based on the following Eastern Daily Press article: http://www.wattonandswaffhamtimes.co.uk/news/man_banned_from_watton_town_hall_over_persistent_questions_1_3990088

Man Banned from Town Hall over Persistent Questions: Doesn’t really Mind but Might Be Cursed.

VLADIMIRA: Norwich resident Duncan Jellibell was left in a state of ambivalence last month by the news that his attendance at Spot-on Town Hall will no longer be tolerated beyond public meetings. In an intimate interview with Norfolk Storytelling’s local news reporter and twelfth generation Kings Lyn resident Holly J Mcdede, Jellibells recounted his ordeal:
ALISTAR: I don’t really mind being banned from the town hall.

HOLLY: Spot-on’s town council member Dimothy Grippensleuth explained the ban by citing Jellibell’s fearful demeanour and persistent questioning:

NIGEL: It’s his attitude really. We don’t like attitudes here at Spot-on council – we never have – and we’re not about to start now. And as for questions, they are frightening and often violent. I was attacked by one as a child. There’s no place for them in Spot-on and everybody knows that.

HOLLY: Unfortunately Mr. Grippensleuth was unable to offer any further information, as he found our questions traumatic and was forced to go for a lie down. However, in a subsequent open letter the Spot-on town council was able to regain its sense of composure and safety to expand on Mr Grippensleuth’s salient points:

VLADIMIRA: Mr. Jellibell is a public nuisance. He asks questions and we find that both offensive and fearful in their multitude, diversity and structure. Sometimes they’re open ended questions, at other times more direct. Just last week he asked our cleaning lady Mavis both the way to the toilets and where she got her nail-polish from. She was both horrified and bewildered. The man is a menace.

HOLLY: We tracked down a woman called Mavis. She offered this dramatic re-enactment of the incident:

NIGEL: There I was cleaning, minding my own business, and all of a sudden this man appeared. Oh, he was a man and he had a voice. He brandished his voice at me and started to ask me questions. One right after the other. I came over all bad.

HOLLY: Terrifying. Yet as the tirade rages over Mr Jelliwell’s exclusion from whatever council meetings exist beyond public ones, a lone voice has come forward in his support. Doreen Trundlesworth, a self-qualified question historian, says that Jelliwell is not responsible for his actions and should not be punished:

DANIELLE: It’s very clear to me that Mr. Jelliwell is operating under the manipulation of a question curse. I don’t know much about question curses but I did recently finish Harry potter and the Goblet of Fire. It seems obvious from this research that Mr Jelliwell’s questions are the result of a very powerful type of magic. He is being forced into the heinous act of questioning by powers beyond his control or even the realms of fact. I would suggest the rival council of Sporrich as being behind this curse. They’ve always had it in for Spot-on.

HOLLY: When asked about Mz. Trundlesworth’s theory my Jellibells did concede that he had felt a bit peaky lately and that maybe black magic was behind his problems. Spot-on county council has declined further comment, but in light of flamboyant and misdirected questioning has now added the Norfolk Storytelling project to its blacklist. Back to the studio.

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