Nigel Farage has a dream
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This piece was written by Louis Pigeon-Owen. Allow him to explain.

MCDEDE: Figel Narage, I understand that when you are not Figel Narage, you are a different person?

LOUIS PIGEON OWEN: I'm Louis Pigeon Owen, and this piece was inspired by Frankie Boyle's Election Autopsy, in which a school boy likens Nigel Farage to that of Martin Luther King himself. I wondered, "How would Nigel Farage, I mean FIgel Narage, phrase and interpret such inspiring words to fit his own agenda? And hence the dream was born."

MCDEDE: Was it difficult to be both Figel Narage and Martin Luther King Jr.?

OWEN: At first, I did think there was an ideological difference. But the passion still comes from the heart.

I have a dream. I have a dream of a world in which white citizens can moan about the right to do menial labour for low pay without ever actually doing it. I blame of a world where everything can be shamelessly blamed on immigrants at all times, anywhere, for no logical reason, whatsoever. In this paradigm, everyone will have the right to free speech, free from discrimination, so long as they're not foreign, like my wife.

I have a dream that we will make our Great British Empire great again, and where our great sun will rise on the road of every country, paved with the colours of the British flag. Everyone will be awoken to the sounds of God Save the Queen, because we all know that what those other countries really need is a bit of colonizing.

It is my dream that white, upper class white men, such as myself, funded by other upper class white males, can live in harmony, and soon we will be able to stop pretending that I am a man of the people.

I will stand tall, and jolly well seen from the rooftops, that I have a fascist and proud of it.

I live in the hope that we will leave the European Union, and even if we suffer from economic decline, we will do so with the knowledge that we screwed up all by ourselves, without the influence of others with unpronounceable surnames.

I have a dream.

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