the emotion that kills passionate feelings in men and women

Can your husband or wife turn you on when he's been acting like an absolute jerk all day, hurting your feelings and making you feel small and worthless? Not unless his behavior changes radically, and even then the chances are rather small.
That's right, men need to feel a certain way if you want them to perform. If you want him to be really deeply engaged in the relationship, you've got to pay attention to his mind and emotions.

But which emotions matter most to a man? It's not the same stuff that matters the most to a woman.

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