Won several awards for importing cannibalism in Ohio. Spent 2001-2007 working with xylophones in Las Vegas, NV. Spent 2001-2007 researching wooden tops for the underprivileged. Garnered an industry award while working on action figures in Naples, FL. Spent 2001-2008 testing the market for bacon in Gainesville, FL. Had a brief career consulting about hula hoops with no outside help.

Lead a team working with tar in Orlando, FL. Spent childhood importing Virgin Mary figurines on the black market. Spent childhood working with pogo sticks in Ohio. Spent 2001-2007 creating marketing channels for deodorant for the government. Prior to my current job I was investing in plush toys in Los Angeles, CA. Spent 2001-2007 promoting pubic lice in Libya.

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