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October 22, 2014: Frantic Cows On The Ne…ws for kids

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Written by Nigel Herwin

The News for Kids is designed to bring more life to the news stories of Norwich. We believe that Norwich is incredibly interesting, and incredibly odd. These stories have been taken from the Eastern Daily Press and re-written, for entertainment purposes, but with extreme respect towards the lovely local presses and all they do for Norfolk.

Science news: this weekend it was conclusively proved that cows do not know their Green Cross Code. Three cows escaped from Norwich Cattle Market on Saturday. Two decided to go for a wander in the woods; the third, Ermintrude, decided to pop into the city and visit the Magdalen Street Celebrations. However, Ermintrude had little or no sense of road safety. She did not look left. She did not look right. She walked straight into the traffic on Ipswich Road without any warning.
A traffic jam quickly built up, with much beeping, tooting, peeping and parping because, unlike cows’, car horns do work. To prevent further chaos, the Norwich SWAT team was put into action, resulting in a seven-hour stand-off with a prolonged staring contest between cow and marksman that put the end of The Good, The Bad and the Ugly to shame.

Marksman Mortimer Van Cleef said: “There’s an old Norwich by-law which states that cows who do not know the Green Cross Code have to be shot on sight, and I’ve been itching to shoot an animal since the renegade pied wagtail invaded Tescos in Sprowston.”

It did not end happy for the cows.

So the crux of this tale is teach your livestock the Green Cross Code. Although you might end up doing this until the cows come home…

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